Foodie With Finesse Gifts

'We're retired. What do you recommend that doesn't require a lot of chewing?'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

"It's Chicken Mole!"

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

'Therapy?'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

Executive Tacos

'Are they fat free, low carb, high fibre and organic?'

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

"Now, what? I'm wearing a hair net."

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

"The butter-poached lobster with melted leeks and horseradish creme fraiche...you want that in a wrap?"