Foodie With Finesse T-Shirts

'We're retired. What do you recommend that doesn't require a lot of chewing?'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"It's Chicken Mole!"

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'Therapy?'

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

"Two questions: What time are the guests arriving, and do you still want me to slice the pepperoni?"

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Executive Tacos

Cooking With Pollock.

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

'Monsieur, in this café you've got to dance your order.'

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

"Now, what? I'm wearing a hair net."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"