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Chez Pretentious Restaurant - All you can pronounce ?25.

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"Medicine is giving the eat-drink-and-be-merry model another look."

"This feels a little over the top for pad thai."

"Which of tonight's specials is the most sanctimonious?"

'Are you the one whose meat was undercooked?'

"Maybe next time you should pay the bill BEFORE you tell them you're giving the place a lousy online review!"

"We may go vegan in the cafeteria."

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

"We find shopping at the farmers' market to be more self-congratulatory."

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

'Sorry, Mister Higgs, but I'm not allowed to chew the meat for you.'

'The health plate is low in sodium, cholesterol, and sugar -- the downside is that it's high in styrofoam.'

'Next time YOU pronounce it!'

'When I grow up, I want to be just like you.'

'Elegant presentation for your fish, but not for steak'

Pasta of the Eighties

'No, I'm not a connoisseur, but I do have a website.'

It's always good idea to check your burrito butt.

'This one is one hundred percent organic.'

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

"Why buy and Idaho spud when you can have a potato of distinction that grows only in the soil of northern France?"

'How gauche! Serving oyster crackers with clam chowder.'

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

'I don't care if it has lettuce, tomato, special sauce on a sesame bun...it's still liver!'

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

Bob's Dill with the Devil.

Rich-boy sandwiches, at poor boy prices!

'Are they fat free, low carb, high fibre and organic?'

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

Foodie Bank

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

"Chef, the salads are ready, the meat is seasoned, and you're washing your hands in the soup."

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"