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Chez Pretentious Restaurant - All you can pronounce ?25.

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"Medicine is giving the eat-drink-and-be-merry model another look."

"This feels a little over the top for pad thai."

'Are you the one whose meat was undercooked?'

"Maybe next time you should pay the bill BEFORE you tell them you're giving the place a lousy online review!"

"We may go vegan in the cafeteria."

"Which of tonight's specials is the most sanctimonious?"

Pasta of the Eighties

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

"Why buy and Idaho spud when you can have a potato of distinction that grows only in the soil of northern France?"

'This one is one hundred percent organic.'

It's always good idea to check your burrito butt.

'No, I'm not a connoisseur, but I do have a website.'

'Elegant presentation for your fish, but not for steak'

'Next time YOU pronounce it!'

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

"Sorry, sir. But if you can't pronounce it, you can't have it."

"We find shopping at the farmers' market to be more self-congratulatory."

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

'Sorry, Mister Higgs, but I'm not allowed to chew the meat for you.'

'The health plate is low in sodium, cholesterol, and sugar -- the downside is that it's high in styrofoam.'

'When I grow up, I want to be just like you.'

'Just because I'm a doctor without borders doesn't mean I venture into menus without prices.'

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

Foodie Bank

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

'Are they fat free, low carb, high fibre and organic?'

'I don't care if it has lettuce, tomato, special sauce on a sesame bun...it's still liver!'

'How gauche! Serving oyster crackers with clam chowder.'

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

Rich-boy sandwiches, at poor boy prices!

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

Bob's Dill with the Devil.