Foodie With A Flair For Fame T-Shirts

"...You're featured as a full-page spread."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

Jewish Geometry

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'Therapy?'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

"Two questions: What time are the guests arriving, and do you still want me to slice the pepperoni?"

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Executive Tacos

Cooking With Pollock.

'Monsieur, in this café you've got to dance your order.'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"My bouche was not amused."

'This Chardonnay is so over-oaked, it comes with a 2-year service contract from Terminix.'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

"The butter-poached lobster with melted leeks and horseradish creme fraiche...you want that in a wrap?"

"Now, what? I'm wearing a hair net."

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."