Foodie With A Flair For Fame Prints

"...You're featured as a full-page spread."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

Jewish Geometry

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'Therapy?'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

Executive Tacos

'Monsieur, in this café you've got to dance your order.'

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

"My bouche was not amused."

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

'Are they fat free, low carb, high fibre and organic?'

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

"Now, what? I'm wearing a hair net."

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"The butter-poached lobster with melted leeks and horseradish creme fraiche...you want that in a wrap?"

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."