Food Finesse Fanatic Gifts

"Excuse me, can we change our order from quality to quantity?"

Counting ribs

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Party time.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Your meal sounded nice."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"Regular service or affected?"

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

Thermidor Dali

Dad's old fashioned barbeque

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

A convenient attack of swine flu...

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'