Dining Fanatic Gifts

'...And the sooner you shift this sign the better!'

Counting ribs

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Life is for the birds.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

'Needs salt!'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Harsh Mellows.

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

Kitchen Kapers

Important Food Groups

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Ice Cream Dreams.

Benihana style of cooking.

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

The Streets - Night

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"