Dining Aficionado Gifts

"Is the homework fresh?"

'We've been enjoying the ambiance for 20 minutes. Now we'd like to enjoy some service.'

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

'Do you want me to serve you with a French accent or in just plain English?'

'I'm sorry sir, you can't actually have your cake and eat it!'

'Chemists love it. It goes very well with most food additives we use.'

"... and Catch of the Day for you, sir?"

Sportscaster dines out

Things were going smoothly until the waiter offered to place Ralph's napkin for him.

Live music every night.

'I think they want to close up...'

'Is there any way I can short lunch?'

Our fortune cookies are officially 'neutral' on the Taiwan independence question.

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Would you like seconds?'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

"Robot waiters are OK, but I just wish they wouldn't hover so."

Supercilious man asking waiter to choose his meal for him

A butler offering a guest a drink.

'With respect, sir, we are a slow food restaurant.'

'Good news, Sir!' We weren't out of Swiss cheese after all!'

"I'll have the catch of the day."

"Your perfume is driving me crazy. It smells like truffles."

'New rule: Never order a bottle of wine when visiting a leper colony.'

Aphid Indigestion.

"It's called a tip, not a bribe."

'Grub's up!'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'I suggest you let it breathe for a few minutes!'

"Whoa, my bad — it is vinegar."

"Good evening, Sir. I’m Ian, your server with a serious attitude."

Coronavirus Etiquette

The Seafood House. Comic Waiters. The Seafood House now has comedians for waiters. Fish and quips!

The fly in my soup served a valid comedic purpose. This fly in my coffee is just a slap in my face.