Dining Aficionado Gifts

"Is the homework fresh?"

'We've been enjoying the ambiance for 20 minutes. Now we'd like to enjoy some service.'

'Chemists love it. It goes very well with most food additives we use.'

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

'I'm sorry sir, you can't actually have your cake and eat it!'

'Do you want me to serve you with a French accent or in just plain English?'

"... and Catch of the Day for you, sir?"

Things were going smoothly until the waiter offered to place Ralph's napkin for him.

Live music every night.

Sportscaster dines out

'I think they want to close up...'

A butler offering a guest a drink.

Supercilious man asking waiter to choose his meal for him

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Your perfume is driving me crazy. It smells like truffles."

Aphid Indigestion.

'Is there any way I can short lunch?'

'With respect, sir, we are a slow food restaurant.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'New rule: Never order a bottle of wine when visiting a leper colony.'

Our fortune cookies are officially 'neutral' on the Taiwan independence question.

'Would you like seconds?'

'Good news, Sir!' We weren't out of Swiss cheese after all!'

'I suggest you let it breathe for a few minutes!'

"I'll have the catch of the day."

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

"It's called a tip, not a bribe."

"Robot waiters are OK, but I just wish they wouldn't hover so."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"Still workin' on that, sir?"

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

"Can I overwhelm you with a menu?"

"I can't seat you until you are fully present."

"What say we blow off the nuts and seeds, and go grab ourselves some suet?"

"Let's see, who had the canary?"