Foodie Intellectual Gifts

"Wood-oven-toasted rosemary focaccia or traditional baguette?"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Surprise in the salad bowl

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"Carpe pizza"

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Is it free-range?"

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"First you make a roux."

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

The Politics of Food.

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

"Eating a diet rich in vibrant colors does not mean a bowl of Skittles."