Intellectual Foodie Gifts

Theories expounded

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Surprise in the salad bowl

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"Carpe pizza"

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"Is it free-range?"

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

Adam and Eve - Food scares

At the Periodic Picnic Table of the Elements

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

'If Darwin had been the cook on the Beagle' 'Menu- its Evolution'.

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"