Intellectual Foodie Prints

Theories expounded

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

Surprise in the salad bowl

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

"Carpe pizza"

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"Is it free-range?"

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

O'Malley's Pub. Special: Cloned Beef and Cabbage. Is nothing sacred anymore?

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

At the Periodic Picnic Table of the Elements

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

Adam and Eve - Food scares

'If Darwin had been the cook on the Beagle' 'Menu- its Evolution'.

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'