Foodie Philosophist Gifts

"Man did not claw his way to the top of the food chain for an entree that looks like that."

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Surprise in the salad bowl

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Carpe pizza"

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Avocado Timeline

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Is it free-range?"

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

The Politics of Food.

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."