Sophisticated Foodie T-Shirts

“But I’m one of the cool ones!”

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

Domestic Goddess.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

Civilized Salmon

"Regular service or affected?"

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

'Therapy?'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

Executive Tacos

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

"Wow, you've got to try this combination."

"They're boulettes de viande. They're meatballs. They're balls of meat."

"Revelatory, Michael - such airy meatballs."

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

"I'll have the chef."

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

"This is a self-service diner. I cook the meals and I eat them myself."

"No thanks. I had a cracker in April."

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

The four major food groups.

'I don't want to eat this. I want to eat organic foods.'

Gentrification of the Fridge.