Foodie Connoisseur Gifts

"Good evening, I'm Ed, and I'll be waiting for your table."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Counting ribs

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

What the Doctor Ordered

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"You do like octopus?"

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

La Table

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Fast food. Even faster food

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"