Foodie Connoisseur Gifts

"Good evening, I'm Ed, and I'll be waiting for your table."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Counting ribs

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Ice Cream Surgeon

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

What the Doctor Ordered

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"You do like octopus?"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Fast food. Even faster food

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

La Table

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

"Rump roast?"

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'