Food And Drink Connoisseur Gifts

"Gin before peanuts is an aperitif. After peanuts it's a digestif."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'No ice.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Join me in a Martini?

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I come here for the pepper."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Party time.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

Full English Breakfast.

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"Regular service or affected?"

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'Fried chickens.'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."