Drink Connoisseur Gifts

"Please, John, not the cheap Scotch. My body is a temple."

"Do you want a drink or do you need a drink ? We're very busy...."

'I won't be howling at the moon tonight. I've joined a barbershop quartet.'

'I tried letting my inner child out to play, and I ended up in Juvenile Court!'

Red wine teeth

'Bernie calls himself a 'recovering alcoholic' but that just means he has a hangover.'

'The usual.'

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

'These drinks have been watered down.'

'I've got a bit of a drink problem.' 'Me too..there's never enough.'

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

Pickled beets.

'Do you have bottled spring water?'

Walking here to the tavern allows me to decrease my carbon footprint and increase my bourbon footprint.

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

'Dulcifying araneids didn't make them any more sapid.'

"Why, it's the bottle mother gave you for X-mas!"

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

'So when's happy hour?'

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

'Personally, I don't see how anyone can go weeks without a drink.'

'Fried chickens.'

'Anyone can eat right... but it takes a top performer to drink right.'

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

"We're out of Sunny D, you'll have to have Tennants Super"

'No ice.'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

Festive Fizz?

"Hiya Ernie - how about a last drink for a condemned man...?"

"What kind of coffee is this?"

"I don't know about you Mavis but I'm Mullered."

Tony had always been a good mixer...

"Sorry, we're all out of grog, Honey. But, we have plenty of water -- distilled, fresh and ocean."