Science-savvy Foodie Gifts

'My compliments to your bioengineer.'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"States of tofu"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Are laboratory grown foods the future of farming?

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

"And it shall be called peanut butter. And it shall appear as if perishable or in need of refrigeration but in truth it shall remain shelf-stable for months, though the oil may separate and require stirring. And there shall be a crunchy variety and there shall be a smooth variety. And . . ."

Fooling around with those genes...just keeps going.

Studying String Cheese Theory

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

'The chef is just making your cheesecake now, sir.'

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

Modern Foraging Techniques...

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

Artificial Isle

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

"Hey, this is a big gamble for us, too. We've never hired a genetically-modified vegetable before!"

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

Mash-Test Dummies.