Sonic Craftsman Gifts

"Good morning - your neighbours have asked me to come and tune your piano."

Counting ribs

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

Arts and crafts

"Lovely dovetail."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

D.I.Y

I love embroidery

Waiting for retirement.

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

"Tinnitus?"

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

Bad Interview Technique

Whittler's Mother.

Multitool Knife

Education and Apprenticeships

Posh Easter Egg

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

"Any chance you could do it at a higher resolution?"

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

Luthier

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

'I had a cough at the time!'

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

Little boy blows a larger bubble than glass blower can.

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

Kenny's mom always made his lunch.

"Just so you understand in advance - we're not old-time craftsmen, and we don't take pride in our work."