Sonic Craftsman Pillows

"Good morning - your neighbours have asked me to come and tune your piano."

Counting ribs

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"Lovely dovetail."

Arts and crafts

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

D.I.Y

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

"Tinnitus?"

I love embroidery

Waiting for retirement.

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

Whittler's Mother.

Bad Interview Technique

Multitool Knife

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

Posh Easter Egg

Education and Apprenticeships

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

'I had a cough at the time!'

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

Luthier

Daniel Day Lewis & George Glasgow

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

"Any chance you could do it at a higher resolution?"

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

Little boy blows a larger bubble than glass blower can.

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

Kenny's mom always made his lunch.

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy