Comical Craftsman Pillows

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Do it yourself books.

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

'Mum! Come and see the coffee-table I've made with my new tool-set!'

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

Bad Interview Technique

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

Stage producer.

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

'McWit never could build anything level.'

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

"I spent twelve years making this. Where's MY award?"

"Son, you're old enough now to whittle your own condom."

"Is it important for a politician to speak a number of languages?"

"Hold on, one more thing to go."

'Have you heard about the origami shop?'

"All this mold is a good sign that our marketing content is getting a little stale."

Make Your Own

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."

'Will you knock it off. Your set wasn't that bad.'

Young Picasso In Woodshop

'Are we painting their Birthday Suits?'

'I need to unwind after that.'

"It was a sweater when I began."

"Sorry, I don't have any beer. The wife cut social benefits and plowed the money into her defence budget..."