Conversation Craftsman Gifts

"Is it important for a politician to speak a number of languages?"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

Bad Interview Technique

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"I'd love to chat, Dave, but unless it's high-powered, high-quality, high-finance, high-tech chat, I just don't have the time."

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

"You've got to give him credit - He was the first in his family to learn to talk."

"I would've started my novel by now, but I've been to busy suffering!"

"I spent twelve years making this. Where's MY award?"

'Instead of being stranded on this island for the next 10 years, I used my pocket knife to build a boat out of palm trees. I told you my woodworking skills would pay off.'

Things You Say Wher You Are Officially Old - Volume # 1

Well yes, I'm quite clever: I have over twenty patents to my name...

"All this mold is a good sign that our marketing content is getting a little stale."

The Ly'in Starts Here.

"This call is monitored for quality. Try to keep up your end of the conversation."

"You're not holding up your end of the conversation."

Don't forget the netiquette

Young Picasso In Woodshop

Echo Point - 'ello 'ello 'ello.

"As kindergarten taught me, a liberal application of glitter can hide a host of flaws."

Trevor had misunderstood Lisa's invitation to come over a make love with her.

"Before we start the date, here's a list of things I have zero interest in talking about."

"Tell us again about civil discourse. We promise not to laugh this time."