Conversation Crafters Gifts

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"I understand it all started when he ordered extra toppings on a pizza."

"I'd love to chat, Dave, but unless it's high-powered, high-quality, high-finance, high-tech chat, I just don't have the time."

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

"You've got to give him credit - He was the first in his family to learn to talk."

"Is it important for a politician to speak a number of languages?"

'Life! Give my conversation liiiife!'

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

Things You Say Wher You Are Officially Old - Volume # 1

The Ly'in Starts Here.

"This call is monitored for quality. Try to keep up your end of the conversation."

"You're so easy to talk to - not everyone is such a good listener."

"Hi. My name is Jonathan, and I'll be your analyst today."

"With Gloria, it's in one ear and out the mouth."

Books 'n' Coffee

"Homey Claus!"

"You're not holding up your end of the conversation."

'We have good news and bad news. The good news is we've developed a credible spin for the bad news...'

Easter Eggs