Someone Who Finds Humor In Animal Stories Gifts

"Because I did'nt know the stupid dog was a pit bull, that's why!"

Faster, Georges, faster!

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'Jurassic Pork.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

Hats and Food

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Scuba cow"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

'The Buck Stops Here.'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"