Soil Savant Gifts

Clean dirt.

'The old man's really serious about his rooftop gardening.'

Making compost.

This plant is a lousy malingerer!

Break up the hard soil around plants...and do everything possible to provide moisture...

'Hi, Mom! Look at all the rich top soil I brought home!'

'You can always recognise a true gardener - out there before the weather actually gets nice enough for venturing into the garden.'

"Oh boy! Looks like the farmer's just mixed in manure! Dig in!"

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

Where was I?

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"Up market, down market - he's still the same old curmudgeon."

"In an unexpected development, the market behaved rationally today."

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

Company Share Price - "The god news is we've become a very attractive takeover target, sir."

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'Now might be a good time to interject the GOOD news to the stockholders!'