Soil Steward Gifts

The consequences of messing with nature

"Would you like some wings?"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"Don't just forage - upcycle!"

Insect extinction

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

'Why can't you SHARE the hedge?'

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

Tree Funeral

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

Solar Power.

'Now that's what I call soil conservation.'

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

"No, still there."

'This is a collect call from 'THE CAPTAIN.' Do you accept all charges?'

'The old man's really serious about his rooftop gardening.'

"My family's been working this land for at least 400 years...!"

'Try to relax, Ed. It's a beach, not sandy soil.'

This plant is a lousy malingerer!

I'm looking for a job?

'You wished to see the house red?'

Earthly Delights Garden Centre

'You know, you remind me of me when I first started here.'

'Quick! Page the flight deck, bring me oxygen, gloves, a mask and someone junior!'

'I think you should know, I put a piece on 'YourTube' praising your stewardship.'