Softball Fanatic Gifts

"Ms Jones, if you can't find a fly swatter, send up our softball team's best hitter with a bat!"

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

350 Feet.

Perils of the double play.

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

'OK, now let's switch places.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Sheltering in place.

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

Extra innings.

I watched an erotic thriller last night. Have you heard of the film 'Field of Dreams'?

Official Team Cap With Beard

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

All Star Team.

'Here is is. 'Vicarious: imagined participation in another's experience' ... it doesn't mean you actually get to play on your son's team.'

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"