Softball Gifts

Influences.

'Coach, are you done with the parents yet?'

'Try throwing it underhand ... it can't be any worse.'

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

Lawyers annual softball game postponed. "They're still negotiating for who pays for the beer."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

Ace Investments - Tonight: financial advisors' softball league - small caps vs. big caps

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"The only time I step up to the plate is when it's loaded with food."

'The game went into extra innings.'

"That was two what?"

Boss with PROFITS chart, going down: 'We need to stop hiring people on how well they play softball!'

Baseball players and their qualifications.

Gigantic Titan Inc personnel: 'We have plenty of computer nerds! What we need is jocks to make our softball team more competitive!'

'I don't know how my request got pushed up so high-all I wanted was approval to leave early to coach my daughter's softball team.'

'Sorry, but...we're only filling gaps in the company softball team.'

"While you've been a valuable member of our softball team, there's a worker in Taiwan who's an all star."

"Your being on the company softball team gives me the opportunity to trade you."

"Ms Jones, if you can't find a fly swatter, send up our softball team's best hitter with a bat!"

The third baseman.

And with this turn of events, Scooter and Huck began to consider other forms of recreation... softball, perhaps.

'Ouch! I thought this was supposed to be 'softball'?'

'Seeking female companion, who can handle a fungo bat...'

"Most unusual stance: lefty batting backwards."

"But, Gridly, you signed up for softball."

Sorry, judge, gotta go

Who won what game?

"A game similar to baseball was first played in the Olympics in 1996." I didn't think "Jeapardy!" had any softball questions.

University Staff Softball League Schedule. A group of people doing ecological studies is playing the DNA research team. Ah, heredity versus environment!

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over