Softball Aficionado Gifts

Sorry, judge, gotta go

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

350 Feet.

Perils of the double play.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Sheltering in place.

"Think of me as the designated sitter."

Vendor selling testosterone.

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

I love Basketball.

"Try letting the ball come to you."

Official Team Cap With Beard

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

Extra innings.

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

I watched an erotic thriller last night. Have you heard of the film 'Field of Dreams'?

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'