Softball Player Gifts

"Most unusual stance: lefty batting backwards."

'The game went into extra innings.'

The third baseman.

Baseball players and their qualifications.

"That was two what?"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

Perils of the double play.

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

The Other Cooperstown

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Currently Boston

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

"I thought it was a strike, Troy—but ask your mother."