Sofa Spelunker Gifts

"I'm not going near there, Bobby. I heard about one remote that went in and never was found."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Needs salt!'

New York Netherworld

"The couch hates me Jane!"

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

My comfort zone

"Gesundheit!"

The new fall content.

"I see the man who invented autocorrect has died."

A writer types onto a long sheet of paper.

'Ed's always been a bit of a dreamer.'

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

A 93% pure nugget of lunacy in its natural state.

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

"I told you we were going down too deep!"

'Step one inexploring a newly discovered cave- wade thru the bat guano.'

'Tighten the drag, Billy! Don't lose him! He's a keeper!'

"I was thinking we might staycation on the sofa."

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

'We added on to the couch.'

'We've found it Chandler- The forbidden temple!'

"It might be this Christmas, it might be next."

Sofa Sale: 'I like this sofa - I'll take it.'

"Thanks to technology, I can be unemployed no matter where I live!"

"I'm not so sure anymore where the sofa ends and you begin."

"This is what the city pays us for, DiAngelo!"

'Plus, you get to keep any change you happen to find under the cushions.'

A Cave Painting

'Nothing is what it seems down here. Most people are nudist speleologists, but I lobby for the pharmaceutical industry.'

"Why am I flicking channels? Every channel's the sloth channel."

Cave explorer discovers writing on the cave wall that says 'explore and discover'.

'I didn't think you'd like spelunking, but do you listen to me? Heck, no.'