Soccer Spelunker Gifts

"Puff! Pant! They don't have to do this in the Premier League!"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Needs salt!'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Best save I've ever seen.'

Ball as water-melon.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

New York Netherworld

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Centaur Forward

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'Hey,come on SIMON, DON'T go all shy now. It's not everyday you get the chance to meet your favourite Footballer in the flesh...'

The commentators want to run the officials...

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"

Football/Soccer bubbles

Football Accident.

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

Team medic spraying deodorant

FIFA 2006 head-butt affair

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

Football

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

"You're a really sore loser, you know that!"

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

"Gesundheit!"

"I see the man who invented autocorrect has died."

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

Evolution

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

Footballers - Niall Quinn