Supermarket Spelunker Gifts

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'Needs salt!'

New York Netherworld

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

"Gesundheit!"

"I see the man who invented autocorrect has died."

Large Very Fresh Eggs

Complex Carbs

A writer types onto a long sheet of paper.

A 93% pure nugget of lunacy in its natural state.

"I told you we were going down too deep!"

Birthday Party Supplies: Plates, Cups, Decorations, Games, Aspirin, Ibuprofen.

Wild fruit

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

'Tighten the drag, Billy! Don't lose him! He's a keeper!'

"Someone's gone to look for a price - they won't be long!"

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I might find the colostrum?"

'No, I'm NOT break dancing.'

"Today is catch-your-own day."

Health food and junk food

'I'm amazed they had ANY meat in them.'

"This is what the city pays us for, DiAngelo!"

Bobsleigh practice.

'I'm giving my tortoise a white knuckle ride!'

Deli-grill in a supermarket luring customers in.

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.

"Puff! Pant! They don't have to do this in the Premier League!"

"I waited 2 hours to see my favorite telenovela star at the super-mercado...and he didn't show up!"

"It's the kind of trade you get at an all-night supermarket, kid."

"Glimmo" Washing Powder - Economy Size!

Food Formerly Sold As Milk/Food Formerly Made with Sugar/Food Formerly Known as Meat/Food Former Fried.

"Derek and I have always been very aware of the nutritional value of whole grains."