Soda Expert Gifts

In the Guru District

"We won!"

The Alpha Seltzer

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

A Good Year.

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"What would you serve with toast?"

"The fifth wine has bright apple and pear notes, with just the barest hint of a blinding headache."

"These drinks are fun even after you've finished them."

Energy Drinks

"I didn't think our breakup would leave you so crushed."

"I hate this damn counter and, by the way, you stink."

"In this plant we bottle soft drinks, Tim, not our emotions."

'By the time the artist has started work on these still life he had sadly lipped into chronic alcoholism.'

A man ice fishing through a hole in the ice opened using a soda can pull tab.

Man watching a huge T.V., while eating a huge box of snacks and drinking a huge can of soda

Larry Was Into Fine Wines.

'Don't look now, Kellmyer, But your pants are in material breach.'

"My dad doesn't give me enough credit. He thinks if I watch TV all day long the commercials will influence everything I do."

"The idea is to start a little satellite program of our own...."

"I'm Artie. I'll be your beverage consultant."

"I'm sorry, Miss, but I'll have to ask you for some proof of age."

Four Weddings and a Funeral and a Bag of Popcorn and a Coke