Soda Expert Gifts

They said he couldn't have a two-liter soda, and he just went crazy!

In the Guru District

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"We won!"

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

The Alpha Seltzer

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

'That's a tough question. I suppose I should be served with a dry red.'

Coca-Cola Inc: 'Gentlemen, is it too late to be bailed out for 'NEW' Coke?'

"What would you serve with toast?"

I've been ordering a diet coke here every day for the last year. Do you admit that? Um

"The fifth wine has bright apple and pear notes, with just the barest hint of a blinding headache."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

A Good Year.

Energy Drinks

"I didn't think our breakup would leave you so crushed."

"I hate this damn counter and, by the way, you stink."

"These drinks are fun even after you've finished them."

"In this plant we bottle soft drinks, Tim, not our emotions."

'By the time the artist has started work on these still life he had sadly lipped into chronic alcoholism.'

Man watching a huge T.V., while eating a huge box of snacks and drinking a huge can of soda

A man ice fishing through a hole in the ice opened using a soda can pull tab.

'Don't look now, Kellmyer, But your pants are in material breach.'

"I'm Artie. I'll be your beverage consultant."

Larry Was Into Fine Wines.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but I'll have to ask you for some proof of age."

"The idea is to start a little satellite program of our own...."

Soda $1.00. You drive a hard bargain.

"My dad doesn't give me enough credit. He thinks if I watch TV all day long the commercials will influence everything I do."