Dedicated Drink Advisor Gifts

"I'm Artie. I'll be your beverage consultant."

'No ice.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Join me in a Martini?

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

You're the botanicals in my gin

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

'The King of what?'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

'Fried chickens.'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

Whiskey wars

Rabbit Punch

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

Complaints Desk