Dedicated Drink Advisor T-Shirts

"I'm Artie. I'll be your beverage consultant."

'No ice.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Join me in a Martini?

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

You're the botanicals in my gin

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'The King of what?'

'Fried chickens.'

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

Whiskey wars

California Beverages Map

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

Rabbit Punch

Complaints Desk

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'