Wine Advisor T-Shirts

"My word, this really is impressive! Lots of people have a personal trainer but a personal wine advisor, wow!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'A cheeky red?'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Bacchus.

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Sauvignon Bonk

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Pasta