Wine Conversationalist T-Shirts

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

A nice Chianti?

'Marriage is a wonderful institution, I'll grant you that, but who wants to live in an institution?'

In the Guru District

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"My word, this really is impressive! Lots of people have a personal trainer but a personal wine advisor, wow!"

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"I unleash greed, disease, and death on the world, and you're saying you ate an apple that made you smart?"

"What would you serve with toast?"

A Good Year.

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

"The fifth wine has bright apple and pear notes, with just the barest hint of a blinding headache."

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

'What did you say?' - 'I was talking to my broccoli.'

"Do you think of yourself as a spiritual person?"

"I was quite a successful writer once...what sort of books are you interested in?"

"I got married once - to avoid writing."

"We're still negotiating. I want a six-figure starting salary and they don't want to hire me."

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

'Fill 'er up!'

"Paved in gold? Oh my, no. With out crumbling infrastructure we're doing well if the streets are paved at all."

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

"Everything has been done to death."