Wine Talker T-Shirts

'There are only 4 tastes, but thousands of smells - believe me, you don't know what you're missing.'

The Vineyard

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Opening the Barrel

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

Portfolio, 2011

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

"My word, this really is impressive! Lots of people have a personal trainer but a personal wine advisor, wow!"

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

Wine Talking

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"She got the house, six thousand a month and custody of our people."