Wine Conversationalist Gifts

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

A nice Chianti?

'Marriage is a wonderful institution, I'll grant you that, but who wants to live in an institution?'

In the Guru District

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"My word, this really is impressive! Lots of people have a personal trainer but a personal wine advisor, wow!"

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

'That's a tough question. I suppose I should be served with a dry red.'

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"The fifth wine has bright apple and pear notes, with just the barest hint of a blinding headache."

"What would you serve with toast?"

A Good Year.

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"I unleash greed, disease, and death on the world, and you're saying you ate an apple that made you smart?"

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

'What did you say?' - 'I was talking to my broccoli.'

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

"I got married once - to avoid writing."

"Nope, no need to smell the cork."

'Fill 'er up!'

"Do you think of yourself as a spiritual person?"

"I was quite a successful writer once...what sort of books are you interested in?"

"Everything has been done to death."