Wine Marketer T-Shirts

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Pete Townshend Vineyards

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Wine Lady

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Bacchus.

Sauvignon Bonk

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

French wine

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.