Sock Drawer Hoarder Gifts

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

The Missing Sock Returns

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"So that's where all the socks ended up!"

Festive squad

"You realize one of us is not coming back."

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

'He got a hole in one today.'

'SAME SOCKS BAR.'

Has socks and foot stools of every kind sale.

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

Shaquille O'Neal donates his old socks to boy scouts.

'It was a gift.'

'Looks like they decided not to g south this winter.'

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

"Hey, Lenny, can you spare a rubber band?"

Time to put away your presents. I don't have room. You said you "needed" a new jacket. I do! My old one's too small. Donate it. I would. But I can't get it out of my closet.

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

"I said more sex, Barry, more SEX!"

"You might consider new socks as well."

Invasive species reach Ken's sock drawer.

'Oh good, it looks like the few things I ordered from the catalogue have arrived.'

Amazon Prime Day ~ The Aftermath

"He's taken responsibility for all the missing socks from the last 50 years."

'Tonight the remains of Jimmy Hoffa have finally been discovered with what appears to be millions upon millions of unpaired socks.'

"Your father helped me, too."

'I'm a jester -- my socks aren't supposed to match!'

'You've got a hole in your sock..'

'Information gathering.'

Everyday is cyber Monday.

"Just two more outfits. . .Then I'll jump."