Social Tactician Gifts

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

'All right, Clone Bob. I want you to go over and ask that blonde to dance. If she says yes, come back and get me.'

Sexual Arena Football

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."

'Never, Ever...compliment a woman on her pregnancy.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

Takeovers.

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."

"I just tweeted a chirp."

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

'What say we set aside all our petty grievances and just hate each other on general principles.'

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

'Remember, Henderson - Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you've sacrificed your leverage.'

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

"You can't expect to get anywhere in business without making an enemy or two, Filmeyer."

Man and bird

ISIS needle in a haystack.

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

"I have the new list of approved tweets."

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

"It has come to my attention that there's a traitor in our midst."

So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"Clearly, this pair were up to something. . ."