Social Tactician Gifts

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

'All right, Clone Bob. I want you to go over and ask that blonde to dance. If she says yes, come back and get me.'

Sexual Arena Football

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."

'Never, Ever...compliment a woman on her pregnancy.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

Takeovers.

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Jones, somewhere out there, we've lost our common sense. I want you to go and bring it back.'

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

'What say we set aside all our petty grievances and just hate each other on general principles.'

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

'Remember, Henderson - Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you've sacrificed your leverage.'

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

"You can't expect to get anywhere in business without making an enemy or two, Filmeyer."

Man and bird

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

ISIS needle in a haystack.

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

"I have the new list of approved tweets."

"Clearly, this pair were up to something. . ."

"Calm down, I'm just using the rules of modern competition."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"It has come to my attention that there's a traitor in our midst."

Thanks to compromise they were moving closer.

'...always surround yourself with incompetent people.'