Social Swiper Pillows

Mom's on Tinder

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Menu Dating

"Textin’"

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

The waterslides are fun, but the water seesaw, not so much.

Do you mind if my mother joins our little business dinner ? You know what it's like, I don't want people from the office to think I'm sleeping my way to the top.

Liquidity Lunch

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

Summer Sketches - The 4-sous baths

Free Little Library

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

Happy hour.

"Sipsies?"

'You're not interrupting anything...the four of us are just sitting around before dinner...Barbara, me and our two phones.'

'Does your phone have a scanner thingy? I've got a barcode on my butt if you want my number.'

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

Woman replaces her husband with her smartphone.

"A friendly warning, pal—this is a sports bar."

Men's Parallel Bars

"I've never been wild about this bar, but it does get you where you want to go."

'Are you a good mixer?'

"Generally speaking, when his nose gives way, it means he's had enough."

"Don't stare at his massive claw... Don't stare at his massive claw...

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'It's better to drink a little too much than much too little!'