Dating Site Swiper Pillows

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Menu Dating

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"Don't blame me! Your profile said nothing about a seafood allergy."

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised the dating service matched us up."

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

Using a social media app to date

'Does your phone have a scanner thingy? I've got a barcode on my butt if you want my number.'

'We met online, but we don't seem able to take our relationship to the next level.'

'Frankly, I'm looking for someone who's tall, dark and solvent.'

"I'll be honest with you, Jeannette, I'm looking for a no-load relationship."

"I hate these dating sites. What ever happened to meeting a guy on a shrub, laying a couple hundred eggs, and then biting off his had while he's watching sports center.'

"Right swipe, right swipe, right swipe..."

"To save time getting to know me, I've had a QR code tattooed to my stomach."

Psychic Dating Hotline

"I'm looking for a dreamboat, not a shipwreck."

"He was that needy, he actually asked me on a second date."

'What the... I told the dating agency to send serious candidates only!!'

"I thought it might speed up the dating process."

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

Plato seeking platonic love on Tinder

My card. Call me the next time you have serious lapse of good judgment.

Big smart phone and small tablet.

'It's not you, Karen. It's our matchmaking service.'

'I've already tried the on-line datiing thing, Now I've decided to adopt!'

Dog Selfie

"There's a woman on tinder called Melania Trump."

"So what's the next landmark we can build for people's dating app profile pictures?"

A woman with a laptop

'I was arrested for stealing too many artificial sweetener packets from restaurants.'