Dating Site Explorer Pillows

'What the... I told the dating agency to send serious candidates only!!'

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

Online Dating

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"I just love a nice knight out."

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

"OK, now what?"

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"Don't blame me! Your profile said nothing about a seafood allergy."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

"I must say, Doctor Jeckyll, that you bear little resemblance to your profile picture."

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

'Frankly, I'm looking for someone who's tall, dark and solvent.'

"I'll be honest with you, Jeannette, I'm looking for a no-load relationship."

'Your credit card or mine?'

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

'....in fact, I don't even know why Mrs. Goldberg put us together.'

'Our relationship is getting serious. He's taking me to meet his doctor.'

Northern chat up lines: 'You don't sweat much for a fat lass'