Dating App Explorer Pillows

'It's not you, Karen. It's our matchmaking service.'

"Your online dating profile said you're six feet of twisted steel and sex appeal."

"Hello, computer dating service? I have an emergency."

"We met speed dating - zap, zap, zap - and we've been engaged fourteen years."

"I work as a male model and have a great imagination."

"Are you 'distinguished connoisseur of offbeat eating establishments'?"

"This looks promising, Cheetah..."

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"His Tinder profile says he's in advertising."

'Frankly, I'm looking for someone who's tall, dark and solvent.'

"There's a woman on tinder called Melania Trump."

The man of my dreams

"Oh, come on! What are the chances of a princess just showing up here? I'm telling you mate, you want to get yourself one of those dating apps."

"I went on the app and found a total gentleman."

Dog Selfie

"To save time getting to know me, I've had a QR code tattooed to my stomach."

"Guys are way too proud of their wattle."

"Mmm....'late 20's, blonde, not afraid to show a bit of side boob. . .'"

'I've already tried the on-line datiing thing, Now I've decided to adopt!'

"I'll be honest with you, Jeannette, I'm looking for a no-load relationship."

"I've never been one to reveal myself in Tiny Glimpses."

"When your profile said you were a ball player this isn't exactly what I had in mind."

"So it's like Tinder, but there's a button you can press that gives you a million dollars but randomly kills one of your matches."

Plato seeking platonic love on Tinder

My card. Call me the next time you have serious lapse of good judgment.

"So what's the next landmark we can build for people's dating app profile pictures?"

"You don't sound anything like your e-mail."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'You must be Spam?..'

"I told the dating service I hated the bar scene. I suppose you did, too."

'i've found a search engine that gets to beautiful women in a hurry. It's not 'Google', it's 'Ogle'.'

"I'm looking for a dreamboat, not a shipwreck."

'...better than a slap with a kipper...'

'I'm from the computer dating agency.'