Serial Swiper Pillows

"How was my internet date? Put it this way, I went online hoping for broadband; I got dial-up."

"Do you recall how my eHarmony profile said I love to hike? Well, I lied."

"I'm in the mood to swipe left on everything."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Textin’"

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

Turtle Hat

TV-Man

Menu Dating

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

'...and then the DOW rallied six hundred points and the three bears felt like idiots...'

How would Madam like to pay?

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

The waterslides are fun, but the water seesaw, not so much.

Free Little Library

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

'Does your phone have a scanner thingy? I've got a barcode on my butt if you want my number.'

Bummer Time Streaming

Stress Prison - The fictional jail you imagine being sent to so you can catch up with Netflix and reading.

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'

Woman replaces her husband with her smartphone.

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

You finished Netflix

"I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry."

"They went together, doctor!"

'I watch shows I don't like because I can't find the remote.'

Check out my new e-reader. This thing is sleek, and fast. Aha! What? How can you say you don't like books> This is just a digital book device. So you like reading after all? Reading? What do you use it for? Downloading books I buy on impulse, looking at the first few pages, moving on. So, so, so sad and true.

Wordplay

Big smart phone and small tablet.

"You can't put that phone down, can you?"

"The doctor says you can go home. We'll get cable."

'The following program was made possible by canceling an even WORSE program.'

Mobiles and Procrastination