Lighthearted Swiper Pillows

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

We'll have Manhattans...

Menu Dating

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Laughing Zone Ahead

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Do you come here often?'

Thursday is the new Friday

"Wanna go out?"

"Wine not?"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

Dance steps for the very tired.

'Yes, some mornings I do wake up grumpy - but only if he's oversleeping'

'Sorry we're late, we lost three days following one of those Chinese lanterns.'

"Call me!"

Wine-O'Clock

"I'm in the mood to swipe left on everything."

A woman with a laptop

"Calm down! You're such a worryguts...!!"

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

"Could you supersize these grades, Ms. Bain?"

'The store was out of light bulbs, so I got lite beer instead.'

Alcoholidays.

Dancing Queen

"Do you recall how my eHarmony profile said I love to hike? Well, I lied."

Golf mole

Newark. Ray.

'Don't jump, Lou! I'm sure you're not the first golfer to get a thirty-two on this hole!'

A dog wearing an L plate around his neck chases and barks at a learner driver.