Social Swiper T-Shirts

Mom's on Tinder

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Textin’"

Menu Dating

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

Do you mind if my mother joins our little business dinner ? You know what it's like, I don't want people from the office to think I'm sleeping my way to the top.

Liquidity Lunch

Summer Sketches - The 4-sous baths

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

Free Little Library

'You're not interrupting anything...the four of us are just sitting around before dinner...Barbara, me and our two phones.'

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

Happy hour.

"Sipsies?"

'Does your phone have a scanner thingy? I've got a barcode on my butt if you want my number.'

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

Woman replaces her husband with her smartphone.

"A friendly warning, pal—this is a sports bar."

'It's better to drink a little too much than much too little!'

'I usually don't do online dating.'

Men's Parallel Bars

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"Generally speaking, when his nose gives way, it means he's had enough."

"I've never been wild about this bar, but it does get you where you want to go."

"Don't stare at his massive claw... Don't stare at his massive claw...

'Are you a good mixer?'