Social Security Navigator Pillows

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

'Apparently Wednesday is early conciliation day.'

Meet the Blogger - 1-3 AM.

"Oh, Johnny. I feel like I'm beginning to know you almost as well as Facebook does!"

To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

Social median

He's back from retirement as a consultant.

"Which one is the emoji for immense relief, coupled with general underlying disappointment, tinged with cynicism, anger and apprehension?"

'I usually don't do online dating.'

"I really like smart women."

'Social networking was the last straw. Now the whole world ignores me.'

"Pastor, is photoshopping selfies a sin?"

- 'Have you a map of London Underground?' - 'Try the basement!'

'Isn't that kind of thing generally frowned upon in the real mob.'

"Would it decrease my chances of getting a five star rating if I were to ask you about your political views."

"Don't stare at his massive claw... Don't stare at his massive claw...

'The reason I never finish my homework is that I spend too much time tweeting about how I have too much homework.'

'What do you know about the Information Superhighway, and where do we fit in?'

it's his way of easing into full retirement.

'Yeh-yeh-yeh - we're right on the corner of First and Main!'

Welcome to Hell: 'Be the first of your friends to like this.'

The Influencer from Hamelin

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

"When you grow up, son, you can be whatever you want, a doctor or a lawyer."